I Know Who Goes Before Me: Where is God in the Midst Of...

One of the biggest questions of our time is "Where is God," or "Where was God in the midst of tragedy."  If we laid out a calendar and penciled in all the tragedies and atrocities that have occurred over the past year, it would be a heartbreaking and painstaking task.  Some tragedies mark one hour, one day and some are dragged out for weeks, if not months.  We've watched as innocent people, innocent children, lose their lives for senseless reasons.  We've watched families and towns mourn.  And even those with faith built on the firmest of foundations find themselves wondering why it couldn't all have been stopped.  Where was God when it all happened?

Then we progress to the rationalizing - there has to be reason within all of the senselessness.  So we build ourselves a foundation of broken reasoning, lies others tell us, lies we tell ourselves.  Some will say it is God's will for terrible things to happen.  Some will say there is no God.  And the rubble continues to pile up until we are buried.

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Here is what I believe to be true: God's will is perfect.  God created this world, and created us, and He loves us.  None of us remember this one particular moment, because the parts of our brain that control our memory are still developing at this time.  It happens right after we are born.  We give our first cry, and the nurse cleans us up just enough to make us presentable.  Then he or she hands us to our mother, and the world stands still.  It is a moment of pure joy, that we too may one day know.  It is also a moment of uncertainty, because that moment begins a journey.  There is no way of knowing who we will be years or decades away from that moment.  But our mother is so overwhelmed by joy and love that she is willing to take that journey, and let us go from that moment on.  When we were created by our Heavenly Father, He loved us with such a deep and profound love that He gave us the choice to love Him.  It is a gesture of love that we may never truly understand; and we may often become disconcerted when we witness its consequences.  Yet, when we make the choice to love Him, God's perfect will is continuously revealed to us.

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This too, is what I believe: God's will is borne of love and He wants good things for His children.  Our will is not in line with God's will.  I believe that hatred and harm are borne out of the anger and brokenness of human hearts.  We have the opportunity to push away from God's will.  And then questions arise, like why does God let us do that?  Why does God let tragedy happen?  That is one of the grayest gray areas.  Many arguments will start with God let this happen because... Others will start with God doesn't "let" things happen... I think the answer depends on how we know God.  For me, I know that God loves me.  He wants me to chase after His will and His heart.  He has given me that choice.  Sometimes my desires step outside of God's will.  Having free will is not like being a dog with an electric fence around its yard.  I can step outside the bounds.  But that free will, that choice is always constant.  There is choice right up until the very last moment.  There is choice right up until the trigger of the gun is pulled, right up until the crime is committed.

Even now I find myself starting to talk and think in circles, because there will always be something that I can't put my finger on.  There will always be a puzzle piece that evades me.  There will always be an element I cannot explain.  I am ok with that because I trust God.

In Sunday School-type Christian education, I was often told that God's will will prevail.  I believe that is true.  What I took that to mean was that in the end of every situation, things will be exactly as God wants them to be.  What that can translate into for some is that certain individuals will survive horrible circumstances and certain individuals will not.  But I think we are meant to look at a bigger picture.  God's will will prevail.  His Kingdom will come.  It will be on Earth as it is in Heaven.  One thing I often forget, and isn't made totally clear in those short Sunday School lessons - we are a part of God's will.  God's will is for us to live out His callings for us.  We are a part of that Kingdom come.  We are a part of that on Earth as it is in heaven.

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So where is God in the midst of tragedy?  The answer is in the question: He is right there in the midst of it.  Deuteronomy 31:8 says "The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  God goes before us into the rubble and destruction.  He steps into the midst of a family crisis before it happens.  He is in the midst of a town ravaged by loss.  He is in the midst of a nation devastated by war or natural disaster.  God knows every hurt that will be felt and every tear that will be shed.  He stands there.  He is the foundation underneath the rubble that we will rebuild upon.    

~SP