One of the things I struggle with most in my life is the desire to have control. I find comfort in having control over a situation. Even when I know I am not the most capable person for a task or for a need, I have a hard time asking for help. I know that this gets in the way of my relationship with God. There are things that burden my heart, and I hold out a long time before I life them up to God.
I strive to pray and talk to God often. I don't really have a scheduled time during the day, and there are weeks, months, etc. where I am in conversation with Him more frequently than other times. I like to walk and talk to God in His outdoor sanctuary - I'm a walking prayer. I often tell Him the things that burden my heart, but still hesitate to let Him take control of them. I say here they are, but not take them Lord. I hold James' faith without works scripture close to my heart. I think faith has to be an active thing. But it is important to step back and make sure I am not acting on my own desires and will.
At church a few weeks ago we talked about a few passages in the Bible and put them into a historical context. On the same day that Jesus entered Jerusalem on a donkey, and was greeted by the laying of palms (the day which we appropriately celebrate as Palm Sunday), Pontius Pilate also entered Jerusalem. The juxtaposition of these events is astounding. Pontius Pilate entered town, commanded attention with a brilliant army. He was mostly likely surrounded and protected by this army. He wanted to be seen by the people, but ensured safety. Jesus simply rode in on a small donkey - borrowed from its owner. His friends and disciples were with Him, but not serving as his body guards. Jesus commanded attention with an unimaginable peace.
Pilate offered comfort through a means of military protection. Jesus offered comfort through an openness and a vulnerability. Pilate was protected by an army that would probably protect him first before protecting the citizens. Jesus opened Himself to the possibility of someone bringing harm to Him, but at the same time, He gave the people comfort through His openness.
When we pray, we come to a God with open arms. There is nothing between Him an us. No army, no barrier. He has opened Himself up to us. He wants us to take down the walls from around our heart and do the same. He wants us to trust Him. Sometimes we are not the most capable person for the task, but God is always capable.
When we pray, it is about the God on the other end of the line. We are powerless in prayer if we don't truly surrender to God. And still, we are truly powerless, because it is Christ who gives the strength, the answers, the comfort.
I also have to remember this when I pray for others. Sometimes it is easier to lift of prayers for others, because they are not my own burdens to let go of. I also find myself praying for what I think should be done in their lives, and I know that is wrong. I have to surrender prayers for myself, prayers for my friends and family, and prayers for those who are against me, completely to God. God knows my opinions, He knows what I think - and He wants to listen to them. We have to remember that God wants better for us than we could ever want for ourselves. And we have to allow Him to do those better things for us.
~SP
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